Our Story

My husband and I waited a few years after we were married before having the conversation that we wanted to start our family. Like most, you think conceiving a child will quickly occur, so you hold off until you think, “I’m ready for this now.” You have fun with the process at first, but when days become weeks and weeks become months, the uncertainty sneaks in and you start to wonder slightly if there might be a problem. Painfully, it is when the months hit the year mark that the frustration occurs, medical advice is sought, and the search for answers begins.

 
After months of tests, it was recognized that we in fact had underlining infertility issues that would need to be addressed before the possibility of having a baby of our own. Due to our diagnoses (less than approximately 10% chance to conceive naturally), even procedures such as ovulation induction (OI) and intrauterine insemination (IUI) were ruled out almost immediately and it was recommended to go straight to in vitro fertilization (IVF), but not only that, intracytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI) IVF would be our highest chance of success. Thus began our baby story.

 
Five embryos were created from ICSI IVF and my husband and I were ecstatic with the possibility of each and every one. During our first transfer, our doctor provided us an enlarged picture of our beautiful first embryo and I remember how full of life it appeared to us even then. “What would this baby look like? Would the baby have my curls or my husband’s blue eyes?” The feelings of hope were overwhelming and I remember thinking to myself in that moment that there was nothing we wouldn’t do for those little embryos and promised to come back for each and every one. It was twelve days after our first transfer that we found out that our first little embryo was a successful transfer and 8 months later our little miracle baby was born. 

Our first little embryo, our son, is perfect. He has ten little toes and ten little fingers and he does in fact share my husband’s blue eyes and blonde hair. He is full of energy and life and has a mischievous grin that will take your breath away. He is our little wonder and I can’t help to look back and imagine the first time I held his “baby picture” in my hand as the doctor passed us the enlarged picture of our little embryo. That little embryo, with its heartbeat yet to be heard, was this little miracle that has made our whole world complete. 
 

As soon as it was possible, my husband and I went back for our next little embryo. The same feelings of hope surrounded us, but this time were even more amplified as we hoped to fulfill our promise to our little embryos and bring home a brother or sister for our son. This embryo would have my nervous giggle or my dimple in my chin. This embryo would pester us about why they were not the first to be transferred. The thoughts were of complete happiness and not one of doubt, but then the unexpected news shattered our whole world. 

The phone call came saying, “You’re not pregnant,” and it felt like everything stilled. Our medical team was amazing and our friends were apologetic, but trying to explain the feelings that resulted from this failed transfer were difficult to explain. It wasn’t that this procedure “just didn’t work,” but instead we felt in our hearts that we lost our embryo, our baby, and that loss was gut-wrenching. When trying to explain these emotions to others, my husband and I would receive the sympathetic looks of “poor thing,” or “bless their heart,” or even “they need to think like this to move on,” which caused us to look for support from anywhere we could think of; however, we found that there were very few resources available that helped those grieving from a failed transfer. It was then that we stopped looking to the outside world for answers that left us feeling empty and instead focused somewhere that gave us an unexplainable peace and it is this place of peace that we wanted to share with the world.

I wish we could say that when we reached this peace that all our troubles ceased and we are proud parents of 5 kids by now; however, that is not the road that we were meant to travel to reach our point of healing. After our second little embryo did not make it, we kept our promise to our other precious little embryos and came back cycle after cycle. These cycles led to a failed transfer, a miscarriage, and yet another failed transfer. It was devastating, yet, we focused our attention on scripture, cried to God, and let His words strengthen us. Does it still hurt? Absolutely. There is no question that if someone asks my husband or I at the right time, that tears will fall; however, just like a willow tree…..the devastating hits in life have caused us to most assuredly bend and sway, but ultimately NOT to break when those storms come because we’ve rooted ourself in Jesus, our Savior. This is where peace was and is reached. The more we not only read, but also studied, the more that scripture began to come alive in our lives and heal us from the inside out. We began to crave the Word and try to memorize it because each scripture served as a daily reminder of God’s protection and love, even when we could not understand the path in which He led us down. 

There is a scripture in the Bible that states, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” (Jeremiah 1:5). Of all the scriptures that we found, this one spoke to us the most, especially in regards to IVF. Our little embryos were KNOWN and loved BEFORE they even entered into my womb; BEFORE science dictated if they would be “survivable;” BEFORE technology was able to detect if they had a heartbeat or not. God had a plan for them and for us even when we did not understand. “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11). Our embryos might not have had a future on this Earth, but the more we read scripture, the more that we are convinced that our God had a plan for them, whether that plan was for us or for someone else. 

It is this peace that led to the creation of this company, its mission, and its purpose. Although started for those experiencing losses during a journey to start their family, we believe fully that scripture can and will heal any and all that are hurting. Give your tears, your fears, and your cries to God, but root yourself in His Holy Word and allow ONLY His words to strengthen you and guide you through your pain. God hears you, even when the outside world might not understand…God does. Allow Him into your place of sorrow and see how He can help you not only get up, but begin again.